Over Afternoon Tea

Tea is not only a drink but a ritual over which people have been relaxing, talking, and catching up on each other's lives for centuries. This blog is intended to serve as a virtual cup of tea, helping me keep in touch with friends and family in my physical absence.

My Very Own Internet Survey

Suppose you are a man. Suppose that you are pushing a shopping cart down an "aisle" in the parking lot. Suppose that this aisle is comfortably wide enough for two cars, or a pedestrian and a car. Suppose, now, that you are walking down the exact middle of it.
Now, imagine that you hear a car approaching from behind. You look back over your shoulder. No, not at the car. PAST the car. At some Undefined Object of Unimaginable Interest.
At this point, what do you do?
A) push your cart forward and to the side, so as to not get run over. Continue pushing your cart to your car.
B) push your cart foward and to the side, so as not to get run over. Continue looking over your shoulder at the Undefined Object of Unimaginable Interest until you lose interest or run into a parked car.
C) stop dead in the exact center of the road and gaze with serious deliberation at the Undefined Object of Unimaginable Interest, still not acknowledging the presence of the car, thus forcing the driver to either mow you down or wait until you have decided to move on.

If you chose A, you are a normal and reasonable person who probably made it home without any lawsuits or accidents. You make a good salary, will have steak and potatoes for dinner tonight, and will live happily ever after.
If you chose B, you are a somewhat reasonable person who clearly got a bit distracted. This happens to the best of us. Perhaps the Undefined Object of Unimaginable Interest was an attractive woman you will soon marry and live happily ever after with, so that you will never regret the ding you made in your bumper by pushing your cart into it.
If you chose C, you are a Bostonian pedestrian. (And I hate you. Forever.)

I Love My Sisters

I never think about how weird we are until I realize all the things other people don't do. Like:

Walk around public parks arm in arm, singing loudly
Drink four pots of tea in two hours
Get dressed up for tea parties (including the parents, and the youngest daughter is 16)
Drink A glass of wine (half the family) and sing "what do you with a drunken Daddy/Mommy/Lisa" (the other half of us)
Dance around in a circle singing "Hava Nagila" in the arboretum.

I just hope when my kids are grown up, they're half as cool as my sisters.

I just winced my way through Independence Day.
Geez.
Let's root for the aliens. If they wipe out the human race perhaps all the bad lines and cliche shots will go with them.
I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope.

Consider the Friggin' Pigeons

Ever tried to explain to a man why it's necessary to worry about things that manifestly aren't going to go wrong?
"There is a quota of worrying to be done in this world, and if I don't do it, it's going to fall on the shoulders of some poor woman in Tibet."
This argument does not impress them.
"'Your Father in heaven looks after the sparrows,' remember?" Anthony argues.
"Well, they're doing great in Boston."
"And the lilies!"
"The sparrows and the lilies are all frozen in Boston. If they even exist."
"All right then, consider the friggin' pigeons! Or the ducks! Or the idiots! There's an overpopulation of those."
"Which, ducks or idiots or both?"
"Both!"
Because, really, we both love Boston.

Eh?

They are Cooks. They are Guggs. They are MEN. They grunt and sweat and whistle constantly and go to baseball games. They come from half the world or half the country away and sit a room away so they can conquer the world together on their computers.

And they use fancy shampoos with French names.